"He’s a Boy, He’ll Grow Out of It"

by Gail Troussoff Marks, Silver Stars Gymnastics

What if you notice that your child (boy or girl) moves differently or reacts differently to situations than many other children? Do you just wait and give it time, or are you more proactive? This article is written from almost ten years of experience as a preschool and special needs gymnastics instructor. These are my observations and opinions and are not presented as scientific research. With that disclaimer, however, I do believe wholeheartedly that the way a child moves and propels their body through space has great significance to their ability to learn and interact socially. This mind body connection is being explored in current research into autism, brain injury, anxiety, and other developmental issues.

So where do you start if you have concerns about your child? The first route is to discuss the issue with your pediatrician. They provide the medical framework to evaluate your child and can give parents a balanced and objective appraisal. Children develop at different rates and boys are different from girls, and your pediatrician can give you that spectrum.

At the same time, make opportunities for your child to engage in a variety of physical activities. When a toddler has mastered the major milestones of sitting, standing, and walking most people assume that the child has the motor skills necessary for everyday life. There are more subtle motor skills that affect how easily children maneuver through their environment. When children come to gymnastics classes, careful observation may pick up ways that some children struggle with movement. The shy, timid child’s fear of movement is usually obvious. Active boys who never stop moving and disrupt class would not ordinarily be thought to have movement issues. However, this "typical boy behavior" can mask fear of trying a new skill or an inability to do that skill. The silly guy who flops and clowns during his trampoline turn may not be able to jump with 2 feet at the same time. The boy who flies down the balance beam may fall off if he tries to slow down and actually put 1 foot in front of the other. Preschool teachers may pick up difficulties that the child is having with following directions, art activities, or playing on the playground equipment.

If you notice your child is uncomfortable or behaves badly in school or at physical activities, I would recommend looking closer. While many children will slowly get to where they should be, I do have concerns about the time lost and the compromised social opportunities when motor issues are left to slowly resolve. I recommend looking at Carol Stock Kranowitz’s book "The Out-of-Sync Child" and see if any of it speaks to your experience. Kranowitz has another book "The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun" which will give you some fun games and movement activities to try at home. Depending on your observations and your child’s responses, you may be able to decide if "they will just grow out of it". Sometimes just a little occupational therapy or work with other developmental therapists can dramatically help a child.
Here are a few examples from my experience. One mother enrolled her 2 year old boy in a "mom and me" gymnastics class to keep him occupied while his sister was in class. His mother noticed that her son would not swing on the rings or hang on the bars. As his mom pursued her investigation, she learned that her son had real issues. Now, having actively worked on the issues, he is thriving. He still takes gymnastics classes and is now in class without his Mom. Another 2 year old boy, who I’ll call John, came with his nanny and cried almost inconsolably when we tried to get him to try any of the equipment. Three months later John smiles and looks at the instructor. He follows the obstacle courses with some help from the nanny. John has progressed from a child who disrupted and stood apart from the class to an active participant. Even with new activities, he rarely cries. I have worked to gradually introduce activities while the nanny has been vigilant in monitoring John’s mood and pulling him back when he was starting to unravel. It is a joy to see these boys having fun like the other children.

I believe that addressing movement issues that cause the child to struggle or be fearful can keep them from losing ground socially and can probably help prepare them for school. While there are times when "He'll grow out of it." makes sense, I admit to a bias to explore issues early. Children can learn and adapt quickly if given appropriate tools and guidance. I have seen early insight and support allow children’s tears and fears to turn to joy as they begin to participate and succeed in gymnastics class. I believe all kids deserve to have fun in movement activities.