A Sensible Sensory Approach to the Holidays

by Gail Troussoff Marks, Silver Stars Gymnastics

The holidays are coming and you were just relaxing as your kids seemed to be mastering the school routines. The holidays are exciting and fun, but can also be disruptive. With some forethought into your children’s sensory disposition, you may avert some of those holiday meltdowns.

We all react to sensory stimuli differently. Often one or more senses are more acute than the others. While this can be strength, it can also be hard to manage. Smells that barely register with some of us can make others almost queasy. Summer heat and humidity sap some people’s energy while others aren’t bothered. You may not have thought about how you react to sensory stimuli. Adults have often learned coping mechanisms to lessen their response to irritating stimuli. Take a few minutes to think about how you, your spouse and your children react to challenges to your senses.

The senses include those that we think of immediately: tactile (touch), visual (sight), auditory (hearing), and olfactory (smell), as well as, the lesser recognized vestibular and proprioceptive senses. The vestibular sense is our body’s response to gravity and our sense of balance and body position. The proprioceptive sense is the information coming through our joints and muscles about where our body is in space.

Tactile Let’s start with the sense of touch. Do you have a child who is only comfortable in certain clothes, finds labels scratchy, or complains about the seams in socks? If so, you may anticipate struggles getting that child into holiday clothes or the darling outfit that grandma sent. Dress shoes, tights or stockings, boy’s ties and dress shirts can make your child irritable just when you are asking them to show their calmest behavior. Children may still be struggling with wearing appropriately heavier clothes since the weather is colder. Crowded malls and bustling shoppers may bump into your child or make a tactile sensitive child claustrophobic.

Temperature also affects us. This is the air “touching” our skin. The heat has been turned on and rooms can be too hot and stuffy. Or, children may be comfortable in the warmth but the transition from indoors to outdoors may be jarring. Some people have a very narrow range of temperatures in which they feel comfortable. When our bodies feel too hot or too cool, we often get edgy and irritable.

Vision Fall foliage, winter frost or snow and holiday decorations make this a pretty time of year. However, there can be too much of a good thing. All the decorations and lights can be over stimulating. Our eyes can glaze over and find it hard to focus with all the visual stimuli. Familiar places may look different with the addition of decorations or merely because the leaves have fallen off the trees.

Auditory The holidays are full of sounds and noises. Sounds pop up everywhere, from the Salvation Army bell ringer to holiday music to blaring horns and yelling voices of hassled shoppers. Too much noise can put many of us on edge. We may not realize that the mounting sound level triggers our headache and tense shoulders. On a more subtle level, the voices of visitors and many people crammed into your house may effect some children. At the other end of the spectrum, your children may like their music, talk loudly and make a lot of noise themselves. If you are visiting grandparents who like quiet, you may find yourself stressed in your efforts to tone down your children.

Olfactory This is certainly the time of year for many smells. For many of us all the yummy smells are a treat. There are all the sweet smells of cookies and candy. Thanksgiving dinner with turkey, vegetables, and pies is a cacophony of olfactory whiffs. Once again for some, it can just be too much. As wonderful as the smells are, they may be different than what a child is accustomed to and overwhelming.

Vestibular and Proprioceptive senses may not initially seem to be challenged during the holidays, since these senses reflect our balance and how we move our bodies through space. But think, how does your child react to the motion of traveling by car, plane, etc.? The motion affects our vestibular system, so traveling may be tension provoking. If you have a child who craves motion and careens around your house, visiting someone unaccustomed to such a child may create tension. Our comfort level is linked to the ease with which we maneuver our bodies. Strange surroundings may make your child less comfortable, merely because they are nervous about finding their way around new spaces. Those crowded malls with escalators and elevators elicit fear in some children.

What can help? Acknowledge that your child may really be uncomfortable, uneasy, or overwhelmed. Ask them what is bothering them. Sometimes children won’t know, but surprisingly often they can tell you specifically. Enlist the child’s cooperation and ideas by letting them have some imput. For instance, explain that dressy occasions are coming and you expect your child to look nice like everyone else. Ask your child if they have any ideas about what would make their fancy clothes more comfortable. Could your daughter stand the fancy dress if she doesn’t have to wear tights? Maybe you can find some comfortable dressy shoes. If Grandma is receptive, guide her toward selecting styles your child likes.

If visiting think ahead about your hosts and how your family can adapt to different surroundings. Merely recognizing that the noise or new surroundings are bothering your child can lead to more acceptance and some amount of adaptation. There will be sensory overload situations that you can’t control, so some empathetic encouragement of your child’s attempts is trying to cope may be the best you can do. Sensory overload is not an excuse for bad behavior, but understanding what triggered the response can lead to better management next time.

So as the holidays approach, think ahead. If you are visiting relatives, think of anything they do differently that will affect your children’s routines.